Mastering Mind: The Illusion of Failure

The concept of "failure" can be such a negative experience when you are not prepared for it. By nature, failing is something we do our best to avoid at all costs, but the reality is failure is a part of learning and a necessary step towards success that lasts.

Is it really that simple though? It can be difficult not dwelling on a failed situation. Running back in your mind an exact play by play. Zoning in on each imperfection. Thinking about what you would have done differently. We all do it. In an instant so many contradicting thoughts come rushing through your mind, enough to make your chest tighten. Thoughts that make you question everything you did leading up to that point.

We have all experienced a time when our work did not meet the standard we had hoped for, and it felt like everything surrounding it came crashing down. The stress of not being able to change the past paired with worries about how others will perceive it. How will it make you look?

So, if I'm telling you failure is necessary for success, but we all want to avoid the aftermath of the instant shame.... how are you supposed to navigate the unexpected whirlwind of emotions that come with an unsolicited turn in events? Let's talk about it.

Redefine it.

The first step is redefining what failure means to you. The common worldly definition of failure is an illusion. Failure only exists in our own perception of it. The reality is that failure is not an end in itself, but a steppingstone to success. Every failure is an opportunity to learn and grow, and to come back stronger and more determined.

Unexpected turns in events is an essential part in finding your own unique path. It helps refine the version of success that was created only for you. The one that no one else can replicate.

J.K. Rowling was a divorced and depressed single mother when she wrote Harry Potter and now, she is one of the richest women in the world! Oprah Winfrey was fired from her first TV hosting job as an anchor and now holds the seat as one of the most iconic media personalities to ever do it.

Successful people have failed many times, but they have not let those failures define them. They have used their failures as a learning opportunity and have kept pushing forward towards their goals.

"Life is not designated for failure, but for transcendence."

Prepare for it.

In order to overcome the illusion of failure, it's important to change our mindset and approach to it. Instead of viewing failure as a negative outcome, we should view it as a valuable learning opportunity. Here are a few recommended practices I personally use to prepare for high stress moments daily:

1. Curate Your Sound.

Every morning I start the day listening to gospel music. This practice allows me to welcome God into my day from the very beginning. Praising, worshiping, and thanking him for an impactful day in advance (whatever that looks like to Him).

One of my routine prayers in the morning includes asking God to bless me with continued growth and wisdom. This specific prayer directly prepares me for the illusions of "failure". Later in the day when I face a new obstacle, I understand it as God bringing it to me as an answer to my prayer to grow wiser as opposed to an unwanted inconvenience. The emotional impact is less harsh because it's exactly what I prayed for!

2. Get inspired.

Watching motivational YouTube compilations, interviews, documentaries, or movies that tell a story about someone who persevered against all odds is the best type of media you can consume. Instead of scrolling through social media seeing only the highlights of people's lives, these stories connect you to real life circumstances and familiar battles being overcome.

I created this YouTube playlist of interviews and compilations I listen to when I'm feeling anxious and thoughts of failure fight to consume me. Feel free to listen to mine or create a custom list of your own!

3. Go out into Nature.

Nature is scientifically proven to generate positive emotions such as calmness, joy, creativity, and can facilitate concentration. If you have ever had the opportunity to go to the beach at sunset after a long day, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Looking into the endless tides of water underneath a cotton candy sunset will make your worldly problems feel so small and give you a renewed appreciation of life every time. This feeling can be recreated on a walking trail or on a comfortable bench at the park.

It's easy to get consumed in the day-to-day hustle but one thing nature does well is remind us of the life we are living NOW! The life that at one point in the past we were praying for. Nature is a great way to disconnect and reset. Allow it to do the same for you.

4. Connect with Your Tribe.

When you are feeling overwhelmed in thought and don't know what to do next it's important to have already identified who you can go to. Not everyone who loves you is built to support you in your most vulnerable moments. Choose wisely and reach out to someone who listens well and will feed you positive words of encouragement. Part of showing yourself grace is being okay with asking for support when you need it.

Who allows you to explore new thoughts and ideas with zero judgement? Who is the first person you want to call to lift you up from feelings of inadequacy? Who shares a common interest with you and can provide useful feedback?

Think about this and write down the first 3-4 people that come to mind and remember them in your time of need.

Think Bigger Picture.

In conclusion, failure is an illusion. We should embrace failure and use it as a tool to achieve our goals. Remember, success is not the absence of failure, but the ability to overcome it.

Working hard on something and it not coming out the way you expected can make you want to retreat and find an "easier" route, but I've learned that feeling is very deceiving. We have to redefine what we know to be "failure" and replace it with a growth mindset. On the other side of every "failure" is a person who has grown and gained experience they will never forget.

It is our responsibility to be self-aware enough to recognize our short comings and allow any failed attempt towards success to refine us. Of course, people's opinions matter, I would be lying if I said it didn't, BUT we should be using people's response to our work as a measure of the impact we've made carrying out God's will instead of a measure our own self-worth.

With love,

Davon Smith